“My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death.” I knew going into this what I was going to be facing. I knew everything that was going to happen, and I accepted it, willingly, gladly, because I knew it was My mission. But now that it is here, even at the door, I feel a fear that I have not known before. It is a very heavy burden that I am about to take upon Myself and I find that I need strength. I must seek My Father. There is a garden nearby that will give Me solitude, where I can be alone with Him and commune. There I shall seek Him.
I didn’t get very far into the garden before I was overcome with sorrow. I fell on My face before Him and said, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.” But there was no answer. I prayed again, “O My Father, if this cup cannot pass away from Me unless I drink it, Your will be done.” Again, there was no answer. I was in such agony that My sweat turned to blood, so I prayed for a third time saying the same words. This time however, an angel came and strengthened Me. I must do this.
The time has come. It is now that the mission hurries to its conclusion. My betrayer stands ready. He walks up to Me, greeting Me and places a kiss on My cheek to signify that I am the One they are looking for. What people use for gentleness and a sign off affection is now used for evil. I even ask him, “Are you betraying Me with a kiss?” He slinks back and looks away, unable to answer. I don’t believe that he is aware of the irony of what he just did. But it matters not, he has played his part and will be remembered for such an act. My friends are ready to fight for Me, but I stay their hostilities. For I have a mission that I must complete. It is for this purpose that I am here.
They bind Me and take Me away to answer for healing the sick, making the lame walk, bringing sight to the blind, freeing those in spiritual bondage, and for pointing out the hypocrisy of the leaders. That last one is My real crime…well, a crime to them. You see, I pointed out many times that they parade around as holy and righteous, but they are deceitful and dead inside. What they put on man to do is ridiculous. It is “tradition”, but it is also not what is intended. It has become twisted and warped. I came to set things straight and to make things simple. To bring the lost back to the Father and pave the way for them to be able to get to Him. But pride kept them blind to My message and their hearts stayed hard. However, they too have a part to play.
I am now passed around from accuser to accuser, and none can find any crime to put on Me. Even the prefect of the area could find no fault in Me. But the more they dig and wring their hands, the more it shows that there is no crime, just hatred. They cry out even more to have Me put to death over a confirmed murderer. Apparently, I am more dangerous than all the criminals. All this does is to show that My Fathers plan will be fulfilled. In the end, I am given over to be executed. But that is after I have been spat upon, beaten with fists, scourged (which left My body with gaping open cuts and exposed bone), a crown of thorns forced onto My head which split it open in places and then beaten again. I am exhausted and can barely stand. I have suffered and it is all I can do to keep going. But I must continue on. I must complete My mission.
Now comes the long trek up the hill to My place of execution. Being in such physical agony, it is going to be all I can do to make it to the top. However, now I also have to carry the cross beam which is so heavy to My tired body. But it is the burden I must bear. The journey starts and I give it every ounce of strength I have left. One foot in front of the other and breathe. I can do this because it is My mission. I get a little way up the hill and my legs just won’t hold Me up anymore. I fall to the ground and My arms are too tired to even catch Myself. My face hits the ground and I exhale out in agony. But I am not finished. I have to make it to the top. The executioners pick Me up and put the beam back on My shoulders and tell Me to move on.
Breathing is getting hard now. Sweat and dirt are getting into My open wounds and sending sharp pains all over My body. It is a pain that no one should have to experience. I am just so tired, but I cannot give up. One foot in front of the other. The top of the hill is getting closer, but I can’t even lift My head anymore as I fall back to the ground. My executioners come over again and pick Me back up to get Me moving. They just don’t understand, I am so tired, and I don’t know how much farther I can carry this beam, let alone Myself. But carry it I will, because I must.
I am going to give this all I have for one last push, but My body just doesn’t comply, and I fall to the ground again. This time, instead of picking Me up and putting the beam back onto My shoulders, My executioners pull someone from the crowd and tell Him to carry it. They have to make sure that I get to the top of the hill. This man carries it the rest of the way and I can slowly walk behind with My head drooped and My eyes closed. I can’t see much anyway due to the blood running from My head down into My eyes.
As I continue on, the crowd is shouting at Me. They are cursing Me and accusing Me of things. But there is one that has been shouting the loudest since the beginning. He is telling Me that I should give up and just die right there because he doesn’t want Me to make it up the hill. There are times where he gets right up to My ear and shouts directly into it. He is telling Me that I am worthless, and I’ll never make it. Giving up would be easier, because no one is worth the price I am about to pay. But he is a liar and the father of lies. He is about to be defeated and it scares him to no end.
I make it to the top of the hill at last. Unfortunately, there is no rest for the weary and they move My body into position on the cross. One nail after another they drive them into My body attaching Me to this cross to put on display for all to see. Even while they are doing this, I cry out to the Father to forgive them. For the executioners truly do not know what they are doing or Who they are doing it to. I am hoisted up into position to hang until dead and I fall forward and into place with a hard stop as the cross falls into its hole. The sudden stop is a complete shock to the body, and it pulls and twists on the nails in My feet and My wrists locking Me further into place.
To My right and to My left are others sharing the same fate. Robbers caught in their crimes and facing the punishment. Three hours I hang, trying desperately to hold Myself up because the way I am slumped over makes it hard to breathe. My heart is pounding in My chest and the pain I feel is indescribable. All the while I am receiving taunts and jeers from the crowd, even the two beside Me. Over time the heart of the one to My left changes. He realizes his wrong doings and fears God. He asks Me to remember him when I enter My kingdom. I look at him with love and say through the heavy breathing, “Assuredly I say to you, today you will be with Me in paradise.”
Then something happens, it grows dark. The light of the world is being snuffed out. I feel something that I have never felt before. Sin. Sin is coming from everywhere and evil is all around Me. It is being placed upon Me. Heavier and heavier it gets; the weight is extraordinary. I am already using what strength I have left to keep Myself up, and now this is added. But more than that, I can no longer feel the presence of My Father. I look to heaven and He has turned His face away from Me as He cannot look upon Me with sin. This is the hardest thing I have had to go through. The Father has always been with Me, and now He is gone. For the first time, I am completely alone. I am completely alone. Please Father, don’t turn Your face from Me! Please let Me feel Your presence! With everything on Me, I need Your love, I need Your strength! “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”
As the next few hours pass, I am fading in and out. I go long periods without breathing and then lift Myself up to get another gasp of air until it winds down to My last hour. In that last hour I see. I see those who I am suffering and dying for. I see the single mother who is doing everything she can to support her child. She needs hope. I will be her hope. I see a man who is in constant pain and needs relief. I will be his peace and healing. I see a man who is addicted to intoxicating substances. He needs freedom. I will be his freedom. I see a woman who is guilty of crimes and needs forgiveness. I will be her forgiveness. On and on they stretch out before Me like a sea of faces. Everyone needing something that I can give. But most importantly, they find forgiveness in Me.
The time is here, I am at My last few breaths. I have completed this part of the mission, and I can now move on to the next. I lift My head to heaven and cry out, “It is finished.” The debt has been paid. I breathe My last and lower My head to pass from this world. The whole earth shakes. Everything is rattled as if the very ground is lamenting My passing. The veil that has always separated man from the Holiest of Holies is torn down the middle as it is no longer needed. Man can now freely go before the Father and petition Him in My name. They are free.
My body is taken down and placed in a tomb with a large stone rolled in place at the opening and guards posted in front of it. It seems as though no one wants Me to come out. But what they don’t understand is that I am still working and when it is time to come out, I will. My mission will be completed.
Two days later, the time has come. A great earthquake shakes the earth and an angel descends to roll the stone away. The guards who were posted fled in fear. I awaken and take a breath. I stand and walk out of the grave that they thought would hold Me. Death has now been conquered and I hold the keys to it. There is now nothing that can separate man from the love of the Father and Me. We are one again. It is now time to make Myself known to My friends and the world. Over the next several weeks I commune with them and have fellowship with them. I instruct them in what they need to do.
All missions have a beginning and an end. This mission is finished, and it is now time to return to the Father. But before I ascend, I need you to know that I am always here for you. I will always be with you, “Even to the ends of the earth.” I have provided the way for you to get to the Father. “No one gets to the Father except through Me. I am the way, the truth, and the life.” Believe in Me and you will have everlasting life. For all who call upon the name of the Lord will be saved. “I now go to prepare a place for you.” And when it is finished and all the rooms have been built, I am returning for you to call you home. You are never alone. Rejoice! For the love of God is always with you.