Mid Week Open Porch

Howdy and Happy Hump Day!   We haven’t posted anything humorous in a while, except maybe in comments…

We’ve all gotten those funny one liners or jokes or puns in e mail, well I got one last night that made me laugh out loud.  I had to share, hopefully to make others smile. So here goes 🙂

When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.

Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.

It’s the start of a brand new day, and I’m off like a herd of turtles.

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

When I say, “The other day,” I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.

I had my patience tested. I’m negative.

If you’re sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, “Did you bring the money?”

When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say “nothing,” it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.

I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.

I run like the winded.

I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don’t know whose side I’m on.

When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, “Why, what did you hear?”

When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?

I don’t mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.

When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like “east.”

Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That’ll freak you right out.

Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.

My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.

I can identify with some of those lol.

Speaking of crazy, AB had this ‘question’ on his FB last night.  So… which one?

I think I’m a mix of 8 & 9 most times.

Well, as said, this is an open porch today. Since the world is a mess, let’s make this a fun one for a bit of a break.  But whatever you’ve got to share, whether funny or music, or something on your heart,  please do!

Have a blessed Wednesday all!

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